News You Can Misuse: December 2, 2008

God save the Bluegrass State. Lexington Herald-Leader:

An atheists-rights group is suing the Kentucky Office of Homeland Security because state law requires the agency to stress "dependence on Almighty God as being vital to the security of the Commonwealth."

Edwin Kagin, a Boone County lawyer and the national legal director of American Atheists, said he was appalled to read in the Herald-Leader last week that state law establishes praising God — and installing a plaque in God's honor — as the first duty of the Homeland Security Office.

The requirement to credit God for Kentucky's protection was tucked into 2006 homeland security legislation by state Rep. Tom Riner, D-Louisville, a Southern Baptist minister.

Riner said he expects Homeland Security to include language recognizing God's benevolent protection in its official reports and other materials — sometimes the agency does, and sometimes it doesn't — and to maintain a plaque with that message at the state's Emergency Operations Center in Frankfort.

Yeah, this one is pretty ridiculous. But then again, there are 7,382 state legislators in the United States - there are bound to be a few small-town flakes. And you would think this would be a slam-dunk case. Except the atheists bring the absurdity to a new level.

The plaintiffs ask for the homeland security law to be stripped of its references to God. They also ask for monetary damages, claiming to have suffered sleeping disorders and "mental pain and anguish."

"Plaintiffs also suffer anxiety from the belief that the existence of these unconstitutional laws suggest that their very safety as residents of Kentucky may be in the hands of fanatics, traitors or fools," according to the suit.

The Commonwealth is still fairly red. Flipping Bunning's seat in 2010 may not be that simple after all.

Indict Cheney? Not so fast. Associated Press:

A judge dismissed eight indictments Monday brought by a South Texas prosecutor against high-profile figures including Vice President Dick Cheney, former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and a state senator.

The order by Administrative Judge Manuel Banales ended two weeks of proceedings that some courtroom veterans declared the most bizarre they had ever witnessed.

At first look, it seemed that this rural Texas district attorney might be on to something. Cheney is an investor in the Vanguard Group, an investment management company that has part of its assets in private prison companies. This created a conflict of interest, with Cheney profiting from the growth of detention centers, some of which have been accused of abusing detainees. Gonzales was accused of stifling an investigation into these charges.

The indictments were dismissed on a technicality relating to the composition of the grand jury. But the story of the prosecutor, Willacy County DA Juan Angel Guerra, is more complicated. Guerra himself was under indictment for extortion and corruption for 18 months until Judge Banales cleared him of the charges. Guerra's indictment of Cheney and Gonzales also included indictments of five other local figures who were allegedly behind Guerra's own indictment, and who purportedly interfered to try to stop Guerra's investigation of the private prisons.

Guerra has a recent history of unusual or erratic behavior.

Guerra ran the investigation into alleged prisoner abuse with a siege mentality. He worked it from his home, dubbed it "Operation Goliath" and kept it secret from his staff, he said. He gave all the witnesses biblical pseudonyms — his was "David."

[While under indictment,] Guerra protested in front of the sheriff's office with farm animals and in March lost his re-election bid in a primary.

The judge suggested that Guerra avoid re-presenting these cases before his term expires at the end of the year. Guerra viewed that suggestion as evidence of the judge's complicity in a wide-ranging conspiracy to block his investigation.

"I expected it," Guerra said immediately after the hearing. "The system is going to protect itself."

A coup in Canada. Bloomberg:

Canadian opposition party leaders agreed to try and oust Prime Minister Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s minority Conservative government, signing an accord to work as an alliance until June 30, 2011.

Liberal Party Leader Stephane Dion would lead the government if Harper is defeated, he and other party chiefs said today in Ottawa. The Liberals would have 18 cabinet posts including finance, and the New Democratic Party would get six cabinet jobs.

“We are seeing a sad spectacle from Harper’s government,” Dion said at a press conference in Ottawa after a signing ceremony, flanked by Bloc Quebecois Leader Gilles Duceppe and New Democratic Leader Jack Layton. “We are ready to form a new government that will address the best interests of the people.”

Canada has never been led by a group of opposition parties since it was formed in 1867.

South of the Forty-Eighth, Harper would be called a "loyal Bushie." After his party's re-election two months ago, Harper tried to push through two controversial initiatives - restricting public employee union rights, and ending public campaign financing, a step that would have hit Opposition parties harder. The Opposition called Harper's bluff, and the end of a tumultuous week saw an unlikely alliance of Liberal, NDP, and Bloc Quebecois members to oust Harper.

Parliamentary democracy has its flaws. But can you imagine if this option had been available to Americans in 2005 - or even 2001?

And finally, USC will continue a tradition by wearing their home jerseys when they play at UCLA this weekend. ESPN:

[USC Coach Pete] Carroll said on Monday that the Trojans would wear their cardinal red home jerseys on Saturday at the Rose Bowl. That violates an NCAA rule that requires visiting teams to wear white, and the infraction will cost him two timeouts, one per half.

The last time the Trojans and the Bruins both wore home jerseys -- the Trojans in red, the Bruins in blue and gold -- was in 1982, when the schools shared the Los Angeles Coliseum.

Why is the corrupt and useless NCAA even legislating this, when we get this all the time in college basketball?