Leaving Rush Limbaugh

I lost a friend today over Obama's budget, of all things. He displayed a graph on his blog showing the dramatic increased in proposed deficit spending in Obama's next budget. I explained to him that a large part of the reason for this was that Obama eliminated a lot of accounting tricks used by the Bush administration, particularly regarding war spending, to make the deficit look better than it was. He response to me was that I needed to stop "drinking the Koolaid [sic]". And so I explained to him that the reason I was able to stay good friends with some of our mutual friends with whom I disagreed was because we could discuss and disagree and be civil. If he was unserious enough that he had to resort to name-calling, then we could no longer be friends. Sure, that was my choice, but we face serious problems, and now is not the time for people without solutions to get in the way.

Yesterday, on a drive across North Carolina, I listened to Rush Limbaugh's address to CPAC. And I have come to the same conclusion about him.

"[T]he racism, the sexism, the bigotry that we're all charged with, just so you across the United States of America know, and you'll see demonstrated here as the afternoon goes on, doesn't exist on our side. We want everybody to succeed."

Really?

Rush, you are a racist. You have been a racist across four decades of "excellence" in broadcasting. In the 70s, you told a black caller to "Take that bone out of your nose and call me back." In the 90s, you said "Have you ever noticed how all composite pictures of wanted criminals resemble Jesse Jackson?" When Carol Moseley-Braun, the first African-American woman in the U.S. Senate, was mentioned on your show, you would play the theme "Movin' On Up" from the television show "The Jeffersons". When a caller told you that black people need to be heard, you replied, "They are 12 percent of the population. Who the hell cares?" You even claimed that Donovan McNabb, the long-time Philadelphia Eagles quarterback, got too much credit for the success of his team because he was black, and that the media wants to see blacks do well. And you opined, "Look, let me put it to you this way: the NFL all too often looks like a game between the Bloods and the Crips without any weapons. There, I said it."

This is not the surface racism that has some people referring to "good niggers" and "bad niggers". And these are not the once-in-a-lifetime racial misquotes of a sincerely open-minded person. These are the philosophical statements of a man who clearly believes to his core that non-whites are less than whites. Someone who believes that whites are superior. Someone so unserious that he will viciously insult millions of people to get laughs from millions of other people.

You are a racist, Rush. There, I said it.

Oh, did I mention that you are a sexist bigot, too? Using a drawn out syllable to call Hillary Clinton a "bitch" while claiming you didn't. Stating that John Edwards' wife "might be attracted to a woman whose mouth did something other than talk." Claiming that Rev. Al Sharpton was concerned about the Duke lacrosse rape case because he was "trying to figure out how he can get involved in the deal down there at Duke where the lacrosse team ... supposedly, you know, raped some, uh, hos." [Racism AND sexism – a two-fer!] Repeatedly referring to women activists as "feminazis" (a quick search of your website shows over 60 uses of the term). And even in this speech, calling CBS's Maggie Rodriguez an "anchorette," and then jokingly apologizing for it.

And now, you want to convene a summit of women because "I want some of these women to start telling me what it is I must do to close the gender gap — or, if not what it is I must do to close the gender gap, what it is I've done that has caused the gender gap." I thought you were a man of principles, Rush. A man who is telling conservatives not to change, that, like a diamond, "conservatism is…forever". Yet you are willing to ask women what you "must do" – differently, of course – to win their support.

"Also, for those of you in the Drive-By Media watching, I have not needed a teleprompter for anything I've said. [Cheers and Applause ] And nor do any of us need a teleprompter, because our beliefs are not the result of calculations and contrivances. Our beliefs are not the result of a deranged psychology. Our beliefs are our core. Our beliefs are our hearts. We don't have to make notes about what we believe. We don't have to write down, oh do I believe it do I believe that we can tell people what we believe off the top of our heads and we can do it with passion and we can do it with clarity, and we can do it persuasively."

Racist, sexist, and now hypocrite.

"We believe that person can be the best he or she wants to be if certain things are just removed from their path like onerous taxes, regulations and too much government."

"We don't want to tell anybody how to live. That's up to you."

Then why are you in my bedroom? Why are you telling me what I can and cannot do with my body, the one gift with which I was endowed by my "Creator"? Why are you telling me I can love anyone I want, as long as you approve of my choice of gender? Am I not a better person, a happier person, a better contributor to society, if I am free to love who I want, and to have his support in my life? If I love someone, and my government tells me, "No, you are not allowed to love him," won't that make me less happy? Won't it make me resentful? And, in Republican terms, won't that make me a less productive input into GDP? If I am unhappy at home, and in my most intimate, personal choices and commitments, how can I be fully happy in anything else I do? How can I reach my potential and be the "best" that you say you want me to be?

You are also a liar, Rush.

"They don't have the right to take money that's not theirs, from the back pockets of producers, and give it to groups like ACORN, which are going to advance the Democrat Party."

First, neither President Obama nor the Congress is trying to give money to ACORN. (Paraphrasing Jerry Seinfeld, "Not that there's anything wrong with" ACORN.) But it is a lie to say the ARRA is going to give them money. ACORN is eligible for grants in the act, just like you are. But it would be just as much a lie for me to state on my blog that "Republicans in Congress allowed a bill through that would take your money and give billions to Rush Limbaugh." Further, it is true that the money is not "theirs". But that is a spurious argument. This is a republic. We chose representatives to make decisions for us. And the majority of those representatives set the tax and revenue policies, and set the priorities for spending. The money is ours, but we have given the authority to spend it to them. If you don't like that, perhaps you should win a few elections and change it.

"In fact, the money he's spending is not ours. He's spending wealth that has yet to be created. And that is not sustainable. It will not work. This has been tried around the world. And every time it's been tried, it's a failed disaster."

Your willful hypocrisy and irony are blinding, Rush. You cannot admit that this is exactly what Ronald Reagan and George W. Bush both did for 16 years. They spent our great-grandchildren into a gaping hole. And you are correct that it is not sustainable. It is an aggravating factor in the current economy. Reagan and George H. W. Bush spent us trillions into the hole. Clinton reversed the trend and even passed four consecutive surplus budgets. Bush has done even worse deficit spending than his father, and that doesn't include all the war spending accounting tricks to make the deficit look better than it was. I've seen the charts showing Obama's proposed budget and deficit spending, some estimates up to $2.5 trillion in one fiscal year. I don't know where the final number will end up. But I know that because of the inaction and failures of the last several years, drastic measures are required.

"Spending a nation into generational debt is not an act of compassion."

Then how come it was okay when "compassionate conservative" George W. Bush was doing it? He added trillions to the national debt.

"I have learned how to tweak liberals everywhere. I do it instinctively now. Tweak them in the media. And no reason to be afraid of these people. Why in the world would you be afraid of the deranged? There really is no reason to be afraid of them. And there's no reason to assume they're the minority. And there's no reason to let them set all the premises and all the agendas to which we respond to."

Again, calling names is not a strategy. Referring to my party as the "Democrat Party" seven times because you think it tweaks us is not a solution; it is childishness. But I have a better rebuttal.

"We, ladies and gentlemen, have challenges that are part and parcel of a movement that feels it has just suffered a humiliating defeat when it's not humiliating. This wasn't a landslide victory, 52 to, what, 46. Fifty-eight million people voted against Obama."

Actually, had you wanted to be more negative, you could have said that almost 62 million people voted against Obama. But almost 70 million Americans did choose him. Obama beat McCain by 9,500,000 votes, the largest margin of victory since 1984. Your party lost 14 seats in the Senate and 53 seats in the House in the last two elections – that's nearly one-quarter of your members. So it is not just at the national level that your ideas have lost. They have also lost among the 435 individual constituencies in our country, too. Your platform did not just lose one election – it has lost dozens.

"We don't have the votes in Capitol Hill to stop what's going to happen. What we can do is slow it down, procedure, parliamentary procedures, slow it down and do the best we can to inform the American people of what's really on the horizon."

And now you're making sense. You don't have the votes to win on most party line issues. But you don't propose better ideas, ideas that can win. Instead, you suggest obstruction and delay. Just like insults, neither of these ideas will make someone's life better.

"[Obama] wants people in fear, angst and crisis, fearing the worst each and every day because that clears the decks for President Obama and his pals to come in with the answers, which are abject failures, historically shown and demonstrated."

I'm sorry, Rush, are you sure you didn't mean President Bush? Because after 9/11, Bush had the chance to unite this country and to ask us to sacrifice as Americans for the common good. Instead, he and his people sowed fear, doubt and mistrust among and between us, and used the uncertainty and the confusion to soil the Constitution, the document you claim to love. Do you only love it during Republican eras?

"When I look out at you in this audience, I don't see a Walmart voter. And I don't see a black, and I don't see a woman, and I don't see a Hispanic. I see human beings who happen to be fortunate enough to be the luckiest people on Earth since you are Americans."

Actually, Rush, I think the reason you didn't see a black, or a woman, or a Hispanic, or a Wal-Mart voter in the room is because there weren't any at CPAC! But I digress with my snarkiness…

"So as you leave here, as you leave here optimism, confidence, not guilt, it's not worth it. There's nothing to be guilty about. Don't treat people as children. Respect their intelligence. Realize that there's a way to persuade people. Sometimes the worst way is to get in their face and point a finger. Set up a set of circumstances where the conclusion is obvious. Let them think they came up with the idea themselves. They'll think they're smart that they figured it out. Who cares how you persuade them, the fact they can be persuaded is factually correct, it's possible"

So regarding what position are you trying to persuade me? What ideas do you have for leading our country? You claimed to detail what conservatism is, but you barely scratched the surface. And other than jokes, and pointing fingers, and calling names, you have not suggested any alternatives. Do you want Republicans to be in charge, making the decisions, and driving the agenda again? Of course you do. So suggest something. As long as you have no ideas, as long as all you can do is tear others down, your good wishes for our country will not matter. You will not win elections.

"Joe Biden was mystified how Bobby Jindal got his shift off at 7-Eleven that night to make the speech. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Time out. Suspend speech for explanation. People watching at home. I'm glad this happened. Glad this happened. You think I just made a joke, an ethnic joke about Bobby Jindal, don't you? I didn't. I made a joke about the bigotry of the Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden."

I try to keep myself open-minded. I don't prefer people who are mindless followers of any media personality. Yet I do agree with Keith Olbermann when he calls you a comedian. Rush, you are an intelligent and creative man. But you are unserious. You are a comedian. You may have some worthy ideas, but they get lost in the insults and the racism and the bigotry and the cheap laughs that you yourself display.

It's true that Vice President Biden made a comment about Indian-Americans during the 2008 campaign. And he explained them. The vice president does not have a lengthy dossier underscoring a pervasive bigotry like you do, Rush. But that is not even the worst part of your statement. The worst part is this: will calling the Vice President a bigot save anyone's home? Will it get anyone a job? Will it get health care for those who cannot afford it? Will it educate a child? Will it eradicate cancer? Will making a joke about John Kerry's skin color do any of these things? So, then, if you are truly interested in leading, in finding solutions, in being compassionate, then why are you wasting your first "address to the nation" on such empty punch lines?

It is because you are an unserious comedian.

I laugh at Bill Maher sometimes. He skewers liberals occasionally but saves his heavy ammunition for Republicans (and God). And sometimes he crosses the line into tastelessness. But he is also politically minded. He is aware of current events. He advocates some positions I can support, like the legalization of marijuana. But I no more want Democrats to follow him as a political leader than I think Republicans should be following you now. Put it this way – just like the president and just like you, Rush, Bill Maher is an excellent communicator. However, there is a world of difference between using inspiration, hope and ideas, and using humor as the vehicle to a destination. Comedians like you and Bill and Jon Stewart can inform and entertain people enough to win them over to a cause. But when it comes time to translate that into action, the comedian has nothing left to offer. There is no "there" there. Liberals laugh at Maher, but follow Obama. Conservatives have found both in you. That kind of vacant leadership is dangerous for our country.

I should be thrilled that both conservatives and you yourself want you to be anointed the new leader of the Republican Party. It should only lead to more gains for Democrats and progressives. But I can't be happy about that. That kind of political debate is not healthy for America. I want real ideas on both sides, and I want our people and our leaders to choose from among them. Because I know that Democrats do not have all the answers. And when we are wrong, which is often, there should be other ideas out there. Republicans have good ideas about some things. (I can admit that about my political opponents, Rush. You are incapable of that.) I want an active and vibrant Republican Party to contribute to the constructive debate about how to keep our country strong. A party that follows your comedy shows is not capable of fulfilling that role.

And so I have made a decision. For years, I have listened to you from time to time. I wanted to know what my conservative friends were hearing, and what ideas were in vogue on the other side. I wanted to be educated about you so that I could fairly criticize you when appropriate – and it was nearly always appropriate. But yesterday, you revealed yourself to be the unserious comedian that many have always expected. You are not a philosopher and you are not a political leader. You are a joker with a drive-time radio show, intelligent but boorish, willing to say anything for outrage or for a laugh.

So as I divorced CNN over a year ago, I am leaving you in the dust, too. I am not listening anymore. I am not keeping tabs on you. I am not following your latest outrage on Media Matters. I am not discussing you with friends or opponents. I am not boycotting your advertisers. I am ceasing to care about you politically because you are an unserious comedian. Rather than refusing to listen to you because you are a Republican, I have chosen to ignore you like I ignore Dane Cook – because you are not funny.

The Best (and Worst) James Bond Themes - Part 1

I am a major fan of James Bond movies. My favorite Bond? Easy – Sir Roger Moore. No, really. He played the part with equal amounts of charm and humor, and saved the franchise from extinction. But I digress. Many features of James Bond films have become iconic. The opening gun barrel sequence. (Which opening sequence is the only one in which Bond kneels to take his shot?) Maurice Binder’s excellent credits at or near the start of the movie, usually featuring naked women in silhouette. The gadgets of Q. The Bond girls. (Yes, Patsy Stone really was a Bond girl.) And, of course, the music.

For nearly half a century, the producers of Bond movies have usually sought out the top names in music at the time for the title themes – Paul McCartney, Carly Simon, Duran Duran, Tom Jones, and Dame Shirley Bassey (three times!). And occasionally their choices have generated a collective “huh?” from the audience. (Lani Hall? And, Lulu? Really? I mean, come on.) But between the star power behind the microphone and the writers behind the notes, the combination is usually quite memorable.

Though Bond himself is not anchored to any specific year, Bond themes tend to reflect the musical stylings of the time, and are quite varied. There are some ballads, some pop hits, some heavy metal, and some jazz. As a result, there is no formula for a perfect Bond theme. But a few criteria do apply. The song should be memorable. It should be able to stand alone, but it should also immediately conjure up images of James Bond. It really should mention the title of the film at some point. And, for lack of a better term, it shouldn’t be wussy. A ballad can be okay, as long as it is strong. James Bond is a lover, but he is first a killer.

So, just for the hell of it, here are my top 25 Bond themes.

(Notes: First, there have been 22 “official” James Bond films. Never Say Never Again was a remake of Thunderball and is not considered part of the official EON franchise – that makes 23 songs. From Russia with Love gets two entries in the countdown: one for the theme of the same name, and one for the introduction of John Barry’s “007 Theme”. On Her Majesty’s Secret Service also gets two entries: one for the instrumental theme of the same name, and one for Louis Armstrong’s closing credits song, “We Have All the Time in the World”.)

Let's start at the bottom of the countdown, number 25 - the only Bond theme to get a grade of F.

25. "Die Another Day", Madonna, Die Another Day

By 2002, Madonna had already topped the world of pop music. Every album she released had gone platinum, and she had 24 gold or platinum records. She had "acted" in several movies, though nearly all of them were commercial and critical failures. Highlighting the unevenness of Madonna's career, however, was the Golden Globe she won for Evita in 1996. So even though it was surprising she had not already done a Bond theme, she was already later in her career than just about any other theme artist in the history of the series. While the producers were hoping for another Evita, instead they got a Shanghai Surprise.

Madonna was knee-deep in her dance floor diva revival when EON came calling, and she didn't disappoint. As with the music of her middle-aged gay icon contemporary, Cher, it's hard to tell where Madonna's voice ends and the electronic computer enhancements kick in. Undoubtedly, it is a good Madonna song. But have you ever heard Madonna live - I mean, really, just her voice? She can't sing. So instead, we get this modulated robotic sound.

Madonna's rendition of the theme is like those artists who decide to perform the National Anthem instead of sing it with the spectators. The theme should be about James Bond. Madonna, as with everything, made it about Madonna. It is why she was nominated for both a Golden Globe and a Golden Raspberry for this song. If it weren't for an even more dreadful entry by Britney Spears from Crossroads, Madonna would have won. (As a note, she lost the Golden Globe to U2, but shared the Worst Actress Razzie with Britney Spears. And Madonna only had a cameo in Die Another Day.)

Grade: F

24. "Another Way To Die", Jack White and Alicia Keys, Quantum of Solace

It doesn't help that this song doesn't mention the title of the movie (though it does contain the word "solace"). It doesn't help that the title of the movie was taken from an completely unrelated short story, and therefore in this context is stupid. And it didn't help that this was the worst non-Dalton film in the series, by a long, long way. But the clincher was setting up the first, and hopefully last, duet in Bond theme history.

The music for this song, particularly the opening, are fantastic. It should be right up there in the top 10 of all Bond themes. And it would have been, if Jack and Alicia had never opened their mouths. This combination of sounds is revolting, so bad that it more than negates the great instrumentalism. "Another ringer with a slick trigger finger for Her Majesty"? No, thanks.

Grade: D

23. "Tomorrow Never Dies", Sheryl Crow, Tomorrow Never Dies

John Barry was the guiding hand behind Bond themes and scores from the beginning until Timothy Dalton came along. With a change in Bond, the produces sought a change in music. While Barry recommended his replacement, David Arnold, the lack of Barry's influence saw a generally steady decline in the theme music after 1987. The worst three theme songs date from this era. Without the experience and institutional Bond knowledge of Barry, theme artists with no investment in the franchise began going their own way with the music. (Exhibit A: Madonna) Sheryl Crow was the first artist in the post-Barry era to get lost on the way to the opening credits.

Whereas Madonna was one of the most experienced artists to record a Bond theme, Crow was one of the least. She exploded onto the scene in the mid-1990s, taking home three Grammys for Tuesday Night Music Club. But her work here with Mitchell Froom, husband of Suzanne Vega, has several fatal flaws. The choice of an equivalent 6/8 time gives the song a dolorous quality that is not in sync with the action of the movie. Thus, it did not lend itself to be reprised during the movie, as good Bond themes do. It also was not a good fit for Crow's mezzo voice; during the refrain, it feels like there are notes that she struggles to reach. And the rhythm and repetitiveness of the background piano is unfortunately reminiscent of this.

Grade: D

22."For Your Eyes Only", Sheena Easton, For Your Eyes Only

John Barry refused to return to the United Kingdom in 1981 for tax reasons. So EON Productions called on the man who gave us the music to all the Rocky movies, as well as the theme songs from Dynasty and Falcon Crest, Bill Conti. Needless to say, the result was a piano-heavy ballad that is one of the wussiest songs to ever grace a Bond film. Meanwhile, Scottish singer Sheena Easton had exploded onto the pop scene the year before, and would have been an unlikely choice to sing a traditional Bond theme. And unlikelier still, Easton is the only singer to appear in the opening credits. But the musical and vocal styles paired well with Conti's composition. The result was a very good ballad, but a very poor Bond theme. John Barry would return for the next Bond film, but this hiatus marked the end of his best Bond work.

Grade: C-

21. "All Time High", Rita Coolidge, Octopussy

John Barry came back from his one-film vacation to write the music and theme for the next installment after For Your Eyes Only. But how does a composer honor the Bond tradition of incorporating the movie title into the song when the movie is called Octopussy? John Barry brought in Broadway lyricist Tim Rice to help, and the result was only the second Bond theme to date that failed to mention the title of the film. (The first was Dr. No.) The selection of Rita Coolidge was a mystery, however. Coolidge had had an uneven if uneventful career, mainly known for covers of other artists' hits, as well as for breaking up Crosby, Stills, Nash and Young by leaving one of the singers for another. As with Sheena Easton before her, her voice was well-suited to the ballad that Rice and Barry created. But because it had little connection to the film, it is probably the least memorable Bond theme in the last half century. (As an aside, the balladry that Bond themes experienced in the 1980s seems well-suited to the character that Roger Moore brought to the role.)

Grade: C-

News You Can Misuse: February 9, 2009

First today, some things you can really not use...

Carrie Fisher was the special guest on last week's episode of Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. She was promoting her new best-selling book, Wishful Drinking - that is, when she wasn't being hilarious. (If you haven't visited her blog, you have my permission to stop reading and go here.) Anyway, host Peter Sagal asked her to reveal something about Sir Alec Guinness that she hadn't written about. She replied, "Alec Guinness once gave Mark Hamill 20 pounds to go away." She also mentioned that during the famous gold bikini scene, the clothing would not adhere to her body. So while she was sprawled across Jabba the Hutt, Boba Fett was standing behind her and "could see all the way to Florida." I love Carrie Fisher. (Ask her about when Cary Grant called her - not once, but twice - to tell her not to use LSD.)

This morning as I wrote at at breakfast, I had VH-1 Classic on in the background. The familiar "Oh-ay-oh-ay" of the Miami Sound Machine's "Rhythm is Gonna Get You" started, and I looked up to watch the video. Oh, Lord, the 80s. But what caught my attention was that several band members were wearing t-shirts with "MSM" in large letters on the front. And all my brain kept saying was, "mainstream media? mainstream media? that makes no sense."

Finally, if this doesn't make you smile, then you are dead inside.

And now, the news...

Badgered over human rights. University of Wisconsin-Madison News:

The University of Wisconsin-Madison will end its business relationship with Russell Athletic at the expiration of its current licensing agreement in March....

In late 2008, the university's Labor Licensing Policy Committee (LLPC) recommended that the university end its relationship with the firm after questions arose over the decision to close one of the company's factories, Jerzees de Honduras in Choloma, Honduras.

Human and workers' rights groups have alleged that the closure took place as a result of union-organizing activity, and they cite additional claims that the factory management repeatedly sought to suppress freedoms of association there....

"We are a university that wants to do the best for workers making products bearing our name," says Dawn Crim, special assistant to the chancellor for community relations and liaison to the LLPC. "The company has not met our expectations."

I know that Madison is a hippy-dippy place (Hi Rachel! Hi Neal!). So it is rewarding to see that the university is responding to claims of human rights violations and unfair labor practices. But I think there is more to this story than meets the eye.

Athletics is big business. The NCAA and its member institutions have generally been impervious to what is best for the student, in all cases choosing what is best for the cash. And in this case, Russell products only netted $39,514 for the university in 2007-2008. Even in these hard times, that's chump change for a flagship institution.

A prediction and an expectation: first, look for UW-Madison to replace Russell with a more prominent athletic label such as Nike. And don't expect Nike's human rights record to get in the way of the almighty dollar. And second, shouldn't UW-Madison, and all its departments and employees, stop doing business with Wal-Mart? Wal-Mart's outrageous human rights and labor records are well documented, and certainly worse than Russell's.

D-O-U-C-H-E. USA Today:

Sports are often made for TV. And TV is made for advertisers.

So it shouldn't surprise — especially as all sports are scrambling to find new places to hang "for sale" signs given the current economy — that the NBA's first H-O-R-S-E contest won't use those letters.

As that contest joins dunking and three-point shooting contests as part of TNT's NBA All-Star Weekend coverage, the as-yet unnamed three contestants — who'll be overseen by an NBA ref — will play G-E-I-C-O. As in the insurance company that will be the event's unavoidable sponsor. (Suggestion: The winner then takes on the famous ad lizard to really drive home the brand awareness.)

Really? SRSLY? I already have significant issues with the overlogofication of sports. We're fashion police in professional tennis when it comes to the small number and size of logos we will allow. And in NASCAR, with every single thing covered in logos all the time, how come there have to be commercial breaks? MLS Soccer can broadcast for 45 minutes without interruption - why can't NASCAR?

FanHouse takes this down better than I could:

Look, I understand that the economy stinks that everything needs to be sponsored (this is why Sportscenter has the Coors Light Cold Hard Facts Sponsored by GMC, of course) but at least keep the integrity of the game intact and let it be TNT's HORSE presented by GEICO. Then, instead of selling all our souls, just have a commercial every 12 seconds (fit it in between the Closer, perhaps?) where the gecko and the pile of money with eyes play G-E-I-C-O against each other.

It would have the same effect really, and no one would feel dirty.

A picture is worth a thousand jobs...or more. Daily Kos:


We have a long way to go.

Who, Mii? Engadget:

The sketch artist at the Kanagawa, Japan police department must've been on vaca last week -- local authorities there decided to use this shady-looking Mii to try and catch a man suspected of a hit and run. Crude, yet effective -- although something tells us a man with no arms who can still swing a tennis racket might just stand out on his own.

Are there really enough option in the Mii creator to render an adequate "sketch"? My Mii looks like hell - maybe it's time for me to engage in a crime spree in Kanagawa.

Did you know...that the Pointer Sisters recorded the music for "Pinball Number Count" for Sesame Street in 1972?



You can thank me for having that in your head for the rest of the day.

News You Can Misuse - December 4, 2008

Gays have lost their ways. John Aravosis:

Yeah, the Mormons have only been dropping cash into gay state initiatives for, oh, 15 years now? No one could have predicted that they'd have jumped in again. And the notion of religious conservative use gays to get out the vote in a critical presidential election year, I mean, who's ever hard of that?

Absolutely pathetic. And now we're having "the day without a gay" and postcard campaigns to Obama (yeah, that'll get his attention) because we are a movement of aimless and energized followers with no real leaders. I don't fault the followers for coming up with very sweet but useless ideas. I fault the leaders, in California and in Washington, for permitting this void in smart political leadership to continue year after year.

John and his team at AMERICAblog have been all over the Prop 8 story, from links to the Sundance Film Festival to the "unintended consequences" of donations to the Yes on 8 side to coprorations we should consider avoiding. But today he hits the nail true. Who are our leaders?

Most of us (politically active, bloggers, blog readers) would have no problem naming leaders of the African American equal rights movement - Jesse Jackson, John Lewis, Martin Luther King. What about the women's equal rights movement? Susan B. Anthony, Gloria Steinem, Billie Jean King. Atheists equal rights movement? Madalyn Murray O'Hair.

So who are the leaders of the gay equal rights movement? Can you name anyone? The reason you cannot is because gays and lesbians are not a cohesive group. African Americans, Hispanics, women - they all share certain cultural touchstones that have the potential to strongly unify them in the face of adversity and discrimination. Gays and lesbians share only one thing - one thing that is actually very different for men and for women - and are terribly diverse in every other way. We are every race, religion, party affiliation, and so on. We cannot progress because we cannot unify. Even in the face of a defeat like California, we lack cohesion and rely on temperamental boycotts and stunts like "Day without a Gay". What we need is Obama-style netroots activism. And we need homegrown leaders.

That's why all the folks on Rocky Top get their coal from a jar. Natural Resources Defense Council:

Today, BofA released its revised coal policy, which will have the immediate effect of curtailing commercial lending to companies that mine coal by blowing off the top of mountains. The policy states, in part:

Bank of America is particularly concerned about surface mining conducted through mountain top removal in locations such as central Appalachia. We therefore will phase out financing of companies whose predominant method of extracting coal is through mountain top removal. While we acknowledge that surface mining is economically efficient and creates jobs, it can be conducted in a way that minimizes environmental impacts in certain geographies.

Bank of America has been my least favorite back for years, dating back to experiences in College Station, Texas when I was in graduate school. They charge for everything - they even have accounts that charge you for making a deposit with a teller - and I never feel like I can completely trust them.

Through mergers and acquisitions, BoA has become the largest bank by assets in the United States, and a major financial services company with the purchases of Merrill Lynch and Countrywide Financial. And, for the sake of convenience, I have a local account with them now, too. The branch manager at my local office, a bundle of energy named Greg, is a polite and helpful man, and his effervescence rubs off on everyone else there. It has made me reassess BoA, though I still don't completely trust them. This news, however, is good news.

In 2006, BoA provided nearly 100 times as much financing for heavily polluting energy projects as it did for cleaner alternatives. With the Obama administration hinting at the possibility of a "Green Deal" set of public works projects, BoA and the other major banks should get on board. Government should go further, however, requiring that banks follow a Community Reinvestment Act approach to funding cleaner energy. It would be a good start for the government to provide billions in funding for cleaner energy. It would be great if the private sector would see the benefits of doing the same thing.

(And if you want an idea of what we clean energy proponents are up against, check out the story of how Don Blankenship of Massey Energy tried to buy the West Virginia Supreme Court and legislature, and succeeded in one case.)

There goes the neighborhood. New York Times The Caucus:

As hard as it may be to leave 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, President George W. Bush and First Lady Laura Bush have settled on a new home.

The White House announced today that after the president leaves office next month, the first couple will be moving to the upscale Preston Hollow neighborhood of Dallas....

According to property records on file with the Dallas Central Appraisal District, the home at 10141 Daria Place has a market value of over $2 million. The 8,501 square foot, four-bedroom residence, which includes a cabana and servant’s quarters, was built in 1959 and sits on 1.13 acres.

President and Mrs. George H. W. Bush retired to Houston. He planted his library at Texas A&M University. And now, after convincing Southern Methodist to find some shelf space for his coloring books, George and Laura confirm that they are moving to a wealthy north Dallas neighborhood. From the looks of it, there will be plenty of brush to clear. And, it's less than ten miles to the President George Bush Turnpike:


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These boots were made for charging. Engadget:

Charging your laptop could start to feel a lot more like work in the near future, if the folks at Easy Energy have it their way. They've just completed a protoype for the Yogen Max laptop charger, and though details are particularly spartan about the actual workings of the device, as you can see from the mock-up, it's going to involve a human foot pumping juice directly into your laptop.

Check out the flash. It is as direct as can be. And that energetic woman in the background just compels me to buy...

And finally. North Carolina Department of Agriculture, via Greensboro News-Record:

North Carolina produced nearly 4.8 million poinsettias in 2007 and generated cash receipts of $15.2 million," said Agriculture Commissioner Steve Troxler. "Overall floriculture production contributes more than $194 million to North Carolina’s economy, and poinsettias are a very important part of that.

Just don't let my cats near them.

News You Can Misuse: December 2, 2008

God save the Bluegrass State. Lexington Herald-Leader:

An atheists-rights group is suing the Kentucky Office of Homeland Security because state law requires the agency to stress "dependence on Almighty God as being vital to the security of the Commonwealth."

Edwin Kagin, a Boone County lawyer and the national legal director of American Atheists, said he was appalled to read in the Herald-Leader last week that state law establishes praising God — and installing a plaque in God's honor — as the first duty of the Homeland Security Office.

The requirement to credit God for Kentucky's protection was tucked into 2006 homeland security legislation by state Rep. Tom Riner, D-Louisville, a Southern Baptist minister.

Riner said he expects Homeland Security to include language recognizing God's benevolent protection in its official reports and other materials — sometimes the agency does, and sometimes it doesn't — and to maintain a plaque with that message at the state's Emergency Operations Center in Frankfort.

Yeah, this one is pretty ridiculous. But then again, there are 7,382 state legislators in the United States - there are bound to be a few small-town flakes. And you would think this would be a slam-dunk case. Except the atheists bring the absurdity to a new level.

The plaintiffs ask for the homeland security law to be stripped of its references to God. They also ask for monetary damages, claiming to have suffered sleeping disorders and "mental pain and anguish."

"Plaintiffs also suffer anxiety from the belief that the existence of these unconstitutional laws suggest that their very safety as residents of Kentucky may be in the hands of fanatics, traitors or fools," according to the suit.

The Commonwealth is still fairly red. Flipping Bunning's seat in 2010 may not be that simple after all.

Indict Cheney? Not so fast. Associated Press:

A judge dismissed eight indictments Monday brought by a South Texas prosecutor against high-profile figures including Vice President Dick Cheney, former Attorney General Alberto Gonzales and a state senator.

The order by Administrative Judge Manuel Banales ended two weeks of proceedings that some courtroom veterans declared the most bizarre they had ever witnessed.

At first look, it seemed that this rural Texas district attorney might be on to something. Cheney is an investor in the Vanguard Group, an investment management company that has part of its assets in private prison companies. This created a conflict of interest, with Cheney profiting from the growth of detention centers, some of which have been accused of abusing detainees. Gonzales was accused of stifling an investigation into these charges.

The indictments were dismissed on a technicality relating to the composition of the grand jury. But the story of the prosecutor, Willacy County DA Juan Angel Guerra, is more complicated. Guerra himself was under indictment for extortion and corruption for 18 months until Judge Banales cleared him of the charges. Guerra's indictment of Cheney and Gonzales also included indictments of five other local figures who were allegedly behind Guerra's own indictment, and who purportedly interfered to try to stop Guerra's investigation of the private prisons.

Guerra has a recent history of unusual or erratic behavior.

Guerra ran the investigation into alleged prisoner abuse with a siege mentality. He worked it from his home, dubbed it "Operation Goliath" and kept it secret from his staff, he said. He gave all the witnesses biblical pseudonyms — his was "David."

[While under indictment,] Guerra protested in front of the sheriff's office with farm animals and in March lost his re-election bid in a primary.

The judge suggested that Guerra avoid re-presenting these cases before his term expires at the end of the year. Guerra viewed that suggestion as evidence of the judge's complicity in a wide-ranging conspiracy to block his investigation.

"I expected it," Guerra said immediately after the hearing. "The system is going to protect itself."

A coup in Canada. Bloomberg:

Canadian opposition party leaders agreed to try and oust Prime Minister Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s minority Conservative government, signing an accord to work as an alliance until June 30, 2011.

Liberal Party Leader Stephane Dion would lead the government if Harper is defeated, he and other party chiefs said today in Ottawa. The Liberals would have 18 cabinet posts including finance, and the New Democratic Party would get six cabinet jobs.

“We are seeing a sad spectacle from Harper’s government,” Dion said at a press conference in Ottawa after a signing ceremony, flanked by Bloc Quebecois Leader Gilles Duceppe and New Democratic Leader Jack Layton. “We are ready to form a new government that will address the best interests of the people.”

Canada has never been led by a group of opposition parties since it was formed in 1867.

South of the Forty-Eighth, Harper would be called a "loyal Bushie." After his party's re-election two months ago, Harper tried to push through two controversial initiatives - restricting public employee union rights, and ending public campaign financing, a step that would have hit Opposition parties harder. The Opposition called Harper's bluff, and the end of a tumultuous week saw an unlikely alliance of Liberal, NDP, and Bloc Quebecois members to oust Harper.

Parliamentary democracy has its flaws. But can you imagine if this option had been available to Americans in 2005 - or even 2001?

And finally, USC will continue a tradition by wearing their home jerseys when they play at UCLA this weekend. ESPN:

[USC Coach Pete] Carroll said on Monday that the Trojans would wear their cardinal red home jerseys on Saturday at the Rose Bowl. That violates an NCAA rule that requires visiting teams to wear white, and the infraction will cost him two timeouts, one per half.

The last time the Trojans and the Bruins both wore home jerseys -- the Trojans in red, the Bruins in blue and gold -- was in 1982, when the schools shared the Los Angeles Coliseum.

Why is the corrupt and useless NCAA even legislating this, when we get this all the time in college basketball?

An Independence Bowl Primer

So here is what I know about the big game, as of December 1.

The Independence Bowl has tie-ins with the SEC and Big XII Conferences. However, an unusual set of circumstances in 2008 will likely prevent either conference from being represented in the game.

(1) SEC: The SEC has tie-ins with nine bowls. Only eight teams are bowl-eligible (six wins and a non-losing record). And one team - Alabama or Florida - will almost definitely play in the BCS Championship Game (not included in the nine bowl tie-ins). Therefore, the last two bowls on the SEC's selection order list - the Independence Bowl and Papajohns.com Bowl - will not be able to select an SEC team.

(2) Big XII: The Big XII has tie-ins with nine bowls for eight slots. Only seven teams are bowl eligible this year - the fewest since 2004. So the last team on the selection order list - the Texas Bowl - will not get a Big XII team.

The Independence Bowl is seventh on the selection order list. If Oklahoma beats Missouri for the Big XII championship, the Sooners will be promoted to the BCS Championship Game, and the Independence Bowl will lose its Big XII team (which would be Kansas). The same result happens if Missouri wins the Big XII and BCS #3 Texas moves up.

The only way the Independence Bowl gets Kansas is if Missouri wins the Big XII, USC clobbers UCLA, Florida beats Alabama, and USC impresses enough voters and computers to get past the Longhorns in the BCS standings - not likely at all.

(3) Sun Belt: In 2008 and 2009, the Independence Bowl has an agreement with the Sun Belt to choose an eligible team from that conference if either the Big XII or SEC cannot provide a team. This clause will definitely kick in for 2008.

The Sun Belt will have four eligible teams - Troy, Arkansas State, Florida Atlantic, and the winner of the Louisiana-Lafayette v. Middle Tennessee State game. And, for the first time in this post, this is where things get complicated.

In 2006, the NCAA instituted a rule (.pdf) requiring that bowl eligible teams with a winning record be considered before teams with a 6-6 record. This rule does not apply if a bowl has a contract with a conference, as the Independence Bowl does with the Sun Belt Conference.

If Troy defeats Arkansas State, Troy goes to the New Orleans Bowl as the Sun Belt Conference champions. Then, if Louisiana-Lafayette defeats Middle Tennessee State, the Independence Bowl will almost certainly give the Ragin' Cajuns their first bowl bid in school history. But if Middle Tennessee State wins, the Independence Bowl will choose between MTSU, Florida Atlantic, and Arkansas State. Arkansas State, as the closest school and with a victory over Texas A&M to open the season, would be the front-runner.

If Arkansas State defeats Troy, they are conference co-champions, and Arkansas State goes to the New Orleans Bowl on the head-to-head tiebreaker. Then, under the 2006 NCAA bowl rule, the Sun Belt would be required to send 7-5 Troy to the Independence Bowl over 6-6 Florida Atlantic and the 6-6 winner of ULL v. MTSU.

This conference is so tight at the top that it is impossible to predict what will happen here. What is almost certain, however, is that either Troy, Arkansas State, or Louisiana-Lafayette will play in the Independence Bowl.

(4) At-large:There are 68 bowl slots available. At least 72 teams and as many as 74 will be bowl-eligible. In the last three seasons, every BCS conference team that was bowl eligible received a bowl invitation. This means that the WAC, with six eligible teams and only four bowl tie-ins, will likely send Louisiana Tech to the Independence Bowl for their fourth appearance, and first since a 34-34 tie with Maryland in 1990.

There are two dark horses for this at-large spot. The MAC's Western Michigan could land in Shreveport at 9-3. They tied for second in the Western Division with Central Michigan, who beat them. However, Central's season-ending loss to 3-9 Eastern Michigan probably ended the Chippewas' bowl hopes. Also, North Carolina State is the tenth team in the nine-bid ACC. They could be shipped to Shreveport if there are no vacancies in more prestigious bowl games.

The match-up I'd like to see? Louisiana-Lafayette versus Louisiana Tech. Tech leads the series 16-10-3, but the teams haven't played since 2004. The most likely match-up? Arkansas State versus Western Michigan. ASU v. Louisiana Tech was a regular series in the 1990s, and not a very interesting one (Tech leads the series 14-3.) Plus, the only time in the last decade that the Independence Bowl reached out to another conference was in 2004, when the MAC's Miami gave Iowa State a competitive game. And Arkansas State has played Eastern and Central Michigan, but never Western.

(5) Bowl notes: The eligible teams most likely to be left out of the bowls: Bowling Green, Central Michigan, Northern Illinois, Florida Atlantic, San Jose State, and Memphis.

The Big XII and SEC conference championships are also essentially BCS semifinals. Here are the possibilities.

ACC: Boston College or Virginia Tech
Big East: Cincinnati
Big Ten: Penn State
Big XII: Oklahoma or Missouri
Pac-10: Oregon State or USC
SEC: Alabama or Florida
Automatic qualifier: Utah
At-large: Texas
Possible At-large (in order of likelihood): Alabama/Florida loser; Oklahoma (if loses to Missouri); USC (if loses to Oregon State); Ohio State; Boise State

The BCS National Championship will definitely pair the SEC champion against Oklahoma or Texas. (Two exceptions - [1] Poll voters get a conscience about a team that did not win its conference playing for the title. [2] Florida wins the SEC and Oklahoma wins the Big XII, but Florida cannot squeeze past Texas for BCS #2.)

My predictions:
BCS Championship: Alabama v. Oklahoma
Rose Bowl: Penn State v. USC
Sugar Bowl: Florida v. Ohio State
Fiesta Bowl: Texas v. Utah
Orange Bowl: Boston College v. Cincinnati

UPDATE [12/2/08]: Apparently, if Troy loses to Arkansas State, the Indians go to the New Orleans Bowl, and the Trojans are committed to the Papajohns.com Bowl. This probably strengthens the case for a Louisiana Tech-Western Michigan match-up. Even if Louisiana-Lafayette wins their final game, their season record would pale in comparison to these two teams.

RedState's mature approach to politics

Republicans only seem to like the media when it is eating out of their hands. Any outlet that dares to, say, actually do its job faces the wrath of the faithful.

And by wrath, I mean this measured, balanced, and useful approach:

As you know, the magazine Us Weekly will hit news stands this coming weekend with a hit job on Governor Sarah Palin.

Though Us Weekly claims that its coverage is very balanced, its cover features Governor Palin holding a baby with the headline "Babies, Lies, and Scandal."

US Weekly, which has been a promotional vehicle for Senator Obama's campaign, is in the tank for Barack Obama and will stop at nothing to ruin Governor Palin's reputation.

Please consider doing this: When you go to the grocery story this week, pick up a couple of copies of Us Weekly and deposit them on the shelves where the toilet paper is located.

When your party does not have a tradition of community organizers, this is what passes for responsible political action.

VIDEO: A Palin Primer - Ten Topics for the Week

There is a lot going on that involves Alaska governor and Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin. Her public, and more complete, vetting continues in the media and in bloggers' basements across the country. Now that the holiday weekend has passed, here is a round-up of the information you need to investigate and discuss Palin this week.

Part 1:


Part 2:


[Please forgive the amateur nature of this video. I am, well, an amateur.]

1. Yes, Palin seemed to imply that the Pledge of Allegiance, particularly the “under God” phrase, was “good enough for the founding fathers.” The pledge was written in 1892, and the “under God” phrase added during the Eisenhower administration.

2. Yes, the Vice Chair of the Alaska Independence Party (AIP) said in 2007 that Palin was a member of the AIP before becoming mayor of Wasilla in 1996. The AIP’s goal is to force a vote on the legal status of Alaska, with the goal “to achieve independence under a minimal government, fully responsive to the people, promoting a peaceful and lawful means of resolving differences.”

3. Yes, Palin served as a director for the Ted Stevens Excellence in Public Service group, a 527 that could raise unlimited money from donors, and aimed to run a “boot camp” for female Republican candidates. John McCain has said that 527s are “a disgrace and they have to be eliminated because they're clearly in violation of the law.” Apparently, so is Ted Stevens.

4. Yes, Palin opposed the “Bridge to Nowhere” in Ketchikan, but only after first supporting it, then opposing it and spending the money on other projects.”

5. Yes, while mayor of Wasilla, she raised taxes.

6. Yes, while mayor of Wasilla, she fired the librarian and police chief, saying, “I do not feel I have your full support in my efforts to govern the city of Wasilla.” Both had supported her opponent in the mayoral election. Both agree that she never explained to the chief the reasons for his dismissal, saying only, “You know in your heart when someone is supportive of you.”

7. Yes, while mayor of Wasilla, Palin screwed up a sports complex land deal so badly that the city is on the hook for an extra $1.7 million because of it, cause cuts in city services and increases in fees.

8. Yes, as mayor of Wasilla, Palin registered $20 million in long-term debt for the city – around $3,000 per resident.

9. Yes, the Anchorage and Fairbanks newspapers, staffed with people who have watched her closely for years, question her selection and her qualifications to be Vice President.

10. Yes, Palin is involved in a sticky scandal involving her sister, her former brother-in-law, and the state Public Safety Director. She and her husband are accused of pressuring the Public Safety Director to fire the former brother-in-law from his job as a state trooper. When the Director refused, Palin fired the Director for failing to fill vacant trooper positions. Palin replaced him with a new director who lasted two weeks on the job before departing under a cloud of sexual harassment claims. She is due to be deposed before Halloween, and the results of the investigation could hit before Election Day.

There are some other stories – her daughter’s pregnancy; the timing of her first pregnancy and her marriage; the birth of her fifth child – but these are either of a dubious nature, or beyond the scope of civilized political discussion. In other words, her positions on sex education, a woman's right to choose, and related issues, are germane. But discussion of these personal stories should not be the entry point for discussion those issues.

The Pigs of St Joseph

Since my visit to Philadelphia, I worked for a week in Lexington before coming here to northwest Missouri for my last week of work until New York City. There wasn't much to report from Lexington - long days and nights, some annoying people, and a boss who acted unprofessionally. In other words, a normal week on the road. There will be much more to say once I finally retire.

In the meantime, we've been here in St Joseph, less than an hour north of Kansas City, for a women's $10,000 tournament. This is the entry level of professional tennis; many of the women here do not even have rankings yet. As a result, the level of play has been quite uneven at times, and startlingly competitive at others. In general, there is a wide gap between the skills of the top twenty players and the rest of the top 100. From about ranking 200 through 400, just about any player can beat any other on a given day. Once you get below that - and some players here are ranked around 1000 - the level of play once again drops off. There have been several matches here where the loser did not manage to win more than two games in the match. Then again, two equally inconsistent players could meet on the court and take you for a three-hour ride.

After receiving this assignment several months ago, I heard a few horror stories about the weather. I remember how parts of the Midwest can be in the middle of the summer, so I expected the worst. But we have been fortunate to have mostly overcast days (and a little rain) all week. Friday will finally be the clear and sunny scorcher we have been expecting all week. There was rain all day on Tuesday, creating a very long Wednesday, but now the end of the week is here, and we are back on schedule.

I have worked in a wide variety of tennis facilities in the eight years I have been on the road. This tournament is being played at a park with tennis courts and a track and football field, located alongside a fairly busy residential street. Three of the courts we have played on border the sidewalk and the road pretty closely. In the mornings, the sidewalk is the best place to watch matches and avoid the sun. There is a small building with restrooms and air conditioning. The accommodations are not elegant, but for an entry-level tournament, we have just about everything we need. Well, and we have one thing we don't need.

In all the years and all the cities and states I have visited, I have never encountered as many pigs as I have in St Joseph. Male pigs. Apparently, it is considered the height of class in this city to slow your pickup as you drive by the park and whistle, hoot, cat-call, or blow your horn at the women. It is true that these women are dressed unlike anyone that these pigs will see in their daily lives of work, Wal-Mart, and home. But that certainly does not excuse the behavior.

In the last three days, I have watched countless cars drive down the street - which in the afternoons is directly in front of me - and slow down once the pig drivers realize that lightly-dressed women are playing tennis on the courts. Most pigs slow down for the first bank of courts, speed up until the next bank of courts, slow down again, and so on. A few pigs have nearly caused wrecks, either by slowing down unexpectedly to ogle, or by nearly rear-ending the driver in front because they were not paying attention. At least ten have made some sort of inappropriate noise to signal - well, to signal what, I am not exactly sure.

Is this some weird mating ritual in northwest Missouri to which most of the rest of the country has not been exposed? I've seen men all over this country notice the female tennis players with whom I work, but I have never seen the women treated this way as they have been in St Joseph. Which of these women is going to say to herself, "Wow, he slowed down and whistled out the window, and then drove away quickly. I must be looking good today. And that man - so brave. That's the man for me"? These players know how they are dressed, and they know when they look good. But they did not invite rude behavior, and it offended me to have to see it this week.

Being a gentleman, it has been hard to wrap my mind around the goals of the pig. The one who whistled and then drove off quickly - what is he hoping to accomplish? If she thinks he is a pig, as she should, then driving away quickly might be smart. If he is trying to impress her, how would she know who he is? Is she to stop playing tennis and chase him down the street? The men who yelled, "Yeah, baby," and the like - is this the rural Missouri idea of how to woo a woman, or, more importantly, to treat a woman with respect? What motivates these pigs?

After a few days of witnessing pigs in the wild, and thinking about their behavior, I can only think of one explanation. Pigs aren't concerned with impressing women; they're trying to impress each other. They know they do not stand a chance with any of the women on our courts. So to earn standing with their fellow pigs, they try to demean the women that they cannot have. It is the gayest thing they can do without touching each other. If they were all on an elementary playground, the pigs would be trying to push the women down - that's about how mature this behavior is.

In this work environment, it is not my place to say anything to the pigs. (It is complicated to explain.) But I have apologized to the women when it has tread too closely to our tennis. In my experience, I feel that it has to be something about this place, St Joseph, that all these pigs have in common. I have never seen such disrespect for women anywhere else I have worked. And it bothered me enough to write about it. When women, and even other men, see this behavior, they should object to it. These pigs are close kin to the monsters that abuse and beat women. And often this puerile porcine behavior is how it starts.

Shine a light through the eyes of the ones left behind

Before heading to World TeamTennis in Wilmington, Delaware last Tuesday night, I decided to take my free day and spend it in the city of Philadelphia, where my mother is from and where I had spent so much of my youth. I have only been back there once since my grandparents died in 1989. Many of my memories had solidified, while others had become embellished through the years in my mind. In all, I was not sure what to expect.

From Albany, I drove through northern New Jersey and approached south Philadelphia from I-95. The skyline is different and taller, certainly; but much of the vague details, the set dressing of the city looked remarkably the same. And the first thing I tried to find was a bathroom, since the only place most Philadelphians can use the facilities is at home. My search was unsuccessful, so I parked at 12th and Washington for the first stop of the day - cheesesteak.

I can remember the biggest local debate among Philadelphians related to cheesesteak - specifically, Geno's or Pat's. Both are located roughly at the intersection of 9th Street and Passyunk Avenue, alongside the Capitolo Park. Years ago, the basic difference between the two restaurants was that one used real cheese on the steaks and one used Cheese Whiz. (I haven't been able to sort out which was which.) As a result of this and other subtle differences, my mother is for Pat's, and her elder sister, Aunt Lucille, is for Geno's.

I checked with both of them before I made my decision.



Aunt Lucille swayed me - she was the older sister, and lived in Philadelphia for more than fifty years.

Geno's and Pat's are both the kinds of restaurant with lots of locals as well as tourists. It helps to watch the habits of the locals so that you know how to order. While I was reading the menu board and listening to some construction workers order, I saw it:



For a rare moment in my life, I was stymied. I couldn't believe what I was seeing. But before I knew it, my turn was up, so I ordered and paid (cash only), went to the next window and ordered fries and a soda (cash only), and found a seat. How did I not know about this sign, this place?

I hadn't even had time to figure all this out before the next surprise. The Geno's cheesesteak - soft bread, steak, dice onions, provolone cheese - tasted like nothing. It did not taste bad. It just had no flavor at all. And I don't think this was one of those memories from my childhood that I had embellished. I remember the cheesesteaks being good, and I have lamented the lack of quality cheesesteaks in other parts of the country. (Excluding, of course, Texadelphia.) But this was a bad cheesesteak. Do you hear me, Joe Vento? A bad cheesesteak.

[Later, when I got back to the hotel, I looked up some information on the sign and the owner. Fox News set up Joe Vento and gave him a forum to "vent" about Barack Obama's comments on languages, and he didn't fail to demonstrate his ignorance.



If you had the stomach to watch the whole thing, you might agree with me that Joe Vento could stand to learn English, as well.

Any politically astute viewer who saw all of Obama's comments in context would know that Obama is not advocating for all American children to learn Spanish. But someone like Joe Vento who is ignorant - either by upbringing or by choice - wouldn't know the difference.

Vento: This guy [Obama], with this — he scares me. I'm telling all the people out there, please, please, vote these people out of office. And if they can't tell you that English will be the official language before the election, vote them all out, and do not be afraid of who you're going to get. It is not going to be worse than what we already have. We have got to speak. [Emphasis added]

Do not be afraid of who you are going to get? It can't get worse that Bush, right? Right?

Bonus: This photo was on the fence of the Little League field at Capitolo Park near Geno's and Pat's.]



After Geno's, I drove down to mom's old neighborhood - 12th and Daly Street, near Jackson Street. I parked by my grandparents' church, on whose fronts steps I vomited as a kid. (Ah, memories.) Grandmom and Grandpop's house is now peach, but the railing and the front stoop were the same. The butcher across the street is now a salon, but the Mauro grocery store is still there, so I went inside.

I don't know what I was expecting to find inside the grocery; maybe I just wanted to see if it still felt so small and familiar. And in most ways, it did. Carol was behind the front counter, and Joe was behind the back. But before I could say anything or notice much more, I saw the ATM machine, and it had money in the dispenser. No one else was in the store. And just then, Carol came around the counter and asked if she could help me. I told her that I had come in for another reason (to buy some Tastykakes), but that I noticed the cash. So she called to Joe to get her an envelope and to see if he could remember who had been in the store last. And then she wheeled around on me and said, "You're Dana's son, aren't you?" (Dana is my mom.) I was stunned and said, "How did you know that?" Carol had recognized me from an old picture Mom had sent to her.

I walked a block up the street to the bakery where we used to get rolls and Sunday pizza. But the bakery is closed on Mondays, so no bread and disappointing cheesesteak were all I ate in the city.

Before heading to my hotel in suburban Philadelphia, I had one more stop - to visit my grandparents cemetery on Baltimore Pike in Yeadon. Uncle Frank sent directions to me, but somehow I sensed how to get there, too. I hadn't been back to visit them since their funeral in December 1989. I drove right to the cemetery and found them from memory, without any trouble at all.



I sat with them for awhile, and then gave them a kiss and a pat for me and for Mom before heading to Glen Mills.

For the Pennsylvania we never found

I spent last week at a women's tennis event in Allentown. For all the time I spent in Pennsylvania as a child, I had never been there. I went there from Raleigh, traveling through the traffic bottleneck approaching Washington, and then up around Baltimore and into south-central Pennsylvania, approaching Allentown from the west and passing through some small parts of Amish country. It was a calm, quiet, and pretty drive - much nicer than the natural utilitarianism I would experience in New Jersey at the end of the week.

When I arrive at the hotel late Saturday night, there was a Jewish wedding party, a band in the bar, and a youth softball tournament that had quite literally overrun the hotel. Consequently, the front desk could not find my room, and I had to put down my own credit card for the night. As I waited, the desk clerk was on the phone with our chief umpire, telling him that there had been an error in reservations, that the hotel was overbooked, and that their company policy for overbooking was that whoever arrived first got the remaining rooms. Thankfully, I got a room, albeit a smoking one.

While I never found out who owned the hotel, it was the most patriotic place I have ever stayed. Seals with eagles adorned doors, carpets, and directional signs. The restaurant was called "America". The walls were adorned with all sorts of patriotic photographic art. Even the cigar lounge was prominently sponsored by Samuel Adams beer. (Although, I admit some trepidation in including this last fact, given that I do not know the provenance of that line of beers. I just know from the advertising that it seems colonial and patriotic.) And each morning at 8 a.m., they salute America with a flag raising. Employees and guests gather at the flag poles and honor hotel guests' family and friends who have served in the armed forces. The flag is raised to the National Anthem, followed by the much-overplayed "God Bless the U.S.A." by - you guessed it - Lee Greenwood. [Right next door to the hotel was the Liber-tee mini-golf. I went over there a few times for ice cream, as well as to play a round of golf by myself one cool night.]

The facility for tennis was decent, the staff was good, and the week was fairly normal. We had a few rain delays, one that moved our matches to the adjoining indoor courts. Imagine, if you will, Noah's Ark. Now, turn it upside down and place it over four tennis courts. That is what the indoor facility looked like. It was constructed of rich, dark wood planks around four inches wide, and it was built quite securely. The arc of the roof gently curved back in the opposite direction before reaching a point at the top. While the entire place smelled like your grandmother's damp attic, it did not leak a drop of water.

On Friday evening after work, I stopped by the supervisor's desk to chat before returning to the hotel. The order of play for the next day was on the table - two singles semifinals and the doubles final. As I looked at it, I said to her, "Well, I bet I know which match I am doing tomorrow." I had already had one of the singles semifinalists that day in her quarterfinal match, and back-to-back matches for chair umpires are avoided. And I've never done a final, so...

"You are doing the doubles final," she said. I told her that I was pretty certain this would be my first professional final. "Don't you think it's about time, then?" she said.

I wound up doing the opposite singles semifinal first, and then the doubles final third the next day. Other than a few extra duties for the final, it was mostly like any other match. I hadn't felt nerves on court in a long time, so it was an interesting feeling. But once we all got a few games under our belts, it was just like any other day at the office. And the match went pretty smoothly.

One note from the singles semifinal. The player to my left came to the next for an overhead smash. She succeeded in putting the ball into play against her opponent, but I heard something hit the ground as I watched the ball speed to the other side. The opponent got her racquet on the ball, but it sailed far outside. That's when I noticed the sound again, and saw the first player's racquet bouncing in her opponent's court. Apparently during the smash, the racquet slipped from her hand, bounced on her side of the court and then over the net. After the ball went out, the first player said to me, "Do I still win the point?" "No," I replied, to laughter from the player and the crowd.

And on other note - in another match, a tall player came racing into the net to play a short ball from her opponent. She got the return over, but her foot touched the base of the net in the process, so I called "touch". She looked at me and said, "Touch? What touch? Who touch?" So I told her that her foot had touched the net. As she walked back to the baseline, she shrugged and said, "Eh, my big feet."

Sunday morning I left for Albany for World TeamTennis, a pleasant drive of a couple hundred miles. Since I wasn't in a hurry, I drove mostly 55 mph on this trip. When I arrived, I discovered my gas mileage was 62.5 mpg for the trip. That's when I decided that I needed a bumper sticker reading, "I Drive This Way To Save Money". It amazed me at all the SUVs racing past me, sometimes more than 20 mph faster than me. Before you complain about the high price of gas, how about adjusting your driving habits?

I've also been playing the license plate game with some friends - the hard version, where you have to find all 50 state plates in alphabetical order. I have been stuck on Colorado for a couple of months now, which annoyed me since I was going to be up in New England these two weeks to get Connecticut and Delaware. And despite seeing Washington, California, Wyoming, Florida (lots of Florida), North Carolina, Texas, Alabama, Quebec, New Brunswick, and even Mexico (D.F.), I still haven't seen Colorado. I'll have more to say about this in a future entry about bumper-sticker politics.

I was in Albany for World TeamTennis, a unique format of professional tennis that uses a box umpire in place of a chair umpire. In other words, you do the same job, but just standing the entire time on a box at the net. WTT has different formats, scoring systems, procedures, verbiage, and mechanics. And while I have been a line umpire at WTT events before - a job exactly the same as line umpiring on the pro circuit - I had never been a box umpire before.

I studied the rules carefully, but some of them are arcane and hard to get unless you see them in action. I don't get the cable channel that shows WTT, so I asked a lot of questions in the last couple of weeks. I knew the basics, but I did not know what the actual product looked like, so I was winging it. Players can tell by the little things if you know what you are doing. If you can't get simple announcements and verbiage correct, they'll mark you as a rookie and eat you alive, even if you aren't. So I tried to master the little things that would instill confidence.

WTT has noisy crowds, even during play; it has coaches and players that come from the bench to argue calls with you; it has instant replay and challenges (in some cities); it has a headset microphone and a Palm Pilot for live scoring and a wide range of line umpire skills, varying from city to city. In essence, it is a challenge even for experience officials. And it was one of the few things left on my list of things I hadn't yet done in tennis.

The night seems like a blur, even though I was sweating, my legs hurt, and I was on the box for three hours, as the match went into overtime. But overall I survived it, and I even enjoyed it a little bit. I'll be more prepared for tonight's match at the DuPont Country Club in Wilmington, and then I will be done with WTT for the far forseeable future. (In case you are wondering, I am next off to see family in the Washington area and then have a vacation with Dave, and then I go to Lexington for a week and St. Joseph, MO (north of Kansas City) for a week.)

The Sins of the Fathers are the Sins of the Sons

What happens when a growing new industry threatens the power and the profits of Big Oil? Why, environmentalists win, of course! Doing a double-take? You are not the only one.

Growing demand for alternative sources of energy has many proponents turning to solar power. The technologies behind concentrating (heating water to produce steam energy) and photovoltaic (converting solar energy directly to electricity) have improved dramatically in the last quarter-century, reducing costs and increasing applications. And some of the best places in the United States for solar installations are located on millions of acres of public land in the American West. (If you have ever driven Interstate 10 from El Paso to Los Angeles, you know exactly what I mean.)

As a result, the New York Times reports, dozens of companies are applying to the Bureau of Land Management (BLM) for permits to install solar panels on barren, unused public land.

Much of the 119 million surface acres of federally administered land in the West is ideal for solar energy, particularly in Arizona, Nevada and Southern California, where sunlight drenches vast, flat desert tracts.

Galvanized by the national demand for clean energy development, solar companies have filed more than 130 proposals with the Bureau of Land Management since 2005. They center on the companies’ desires to lease public land to build solar plants and then sell the energy to utilities.

According to the bureau, the applications, which cover more than one million acres, are for projects that have the potential to power more than 20 million homes.

It sounds like a win-win situation, and it almost is: the only losers come in the traditional energy industries, particularly petroleum, coal, and natural gas. However, the positives are clear. Solar power is a renewable resource; the others are not. Millions of acres of Western land are sitting unused, when both private companies and the federal government could profit from their development for solar power. The United States could take the global lead in developing solar power, generating thousands of green jobs that are powered by foreign and domestic sales.

Naturally, the Bush administration is on board, right?

Faced with a surge in the number of proposed solar power plants, the federal government has placed a moratorium on new solar projects on public land until it studies their environmental impact, which is expected to take about two years.

The Bureau of Land Management says an extensive environmental study is needed to determine how large solar plants might affect millions of acres it oversees in six Western states — Arizona, California, Colorado, Nevada, New Mexico and Utah.

Suddenly when traditional backers of the Bush administration are threatened, environmental concerns become paramount. How did I not see that coming? Maybe because the usual Bush approach is delay and obstruction. The EPA refused to grant California a waiver for tough cuts in greenhouse gas emissions from cars and trucks. The state of California sued the EPA to force its hand; automobile manufacturers preemptively sued to stop the waiver if the EPA was forced to give it. The automakers' suit was rejected on Thursday. Meanwhile, the administration has refused to release documents related to the EPA's denial of the waiver, citing executive privilege.

According to the Los Angeles Times, both Sen. Obama and Sen. McCain have pledged to support the waiver if elected. Hopefully, this BLM moratorium will be treated in the same way. So add these topics to the long, long list of items that wait for Bush's retirement to his ranch.

[h/t to Grist for highlighting both stories.]

It's not time to panic

Barack Obama has brought many new people into the political process, and he has reinvigorated the progressive souls of many who stopped participating. For a long-time pol like myself, it is easier to see the shifts and changes that Obama is exhibiting as normal progressions in a campaign. For the groups of people I mentioned at the start, changes in public financing or FISA feel like a betrayal, and it has shaken their faith. I am here to tell you not to jump ship or even put on your life vests. It is going to be alright.

I am not disappointed about Obama's choice to eschew public financing; I somewhat expected it, and I know it makes my a hypocrite. I think there is merit in some elements of public financing, which is why I was disappointed that the Supreme Court voided the Millionaire's amendment today. Obama has played new media and new methods of raising funds brilliantly. As a writer whose name I forgot succinctly put it, any adviser who suggested staying in the public finance system would be guilty of "political malpractice". It would be folly to give up our huge advantage in the fuel of political campaigns when we finally have one. (UPDATE: It was Norman Ornstein who said it. Thanks, Dave! h/t)

I am terribly disappointed in Obama's positioning on the FISA Amendments Act of 2008. I have been hoping and dreaming of a Thurmond- or Byrd-type filibuster, one for the ages, where a senator talks for two days straight until relieved by another senator, and so on, until this bill dies. I did not like the "triangulation" I sensed in Obama's nuanced statements on the bill. But we are not single-issue voters. We cannot be if we expect to win.

Democrats have made errors, for example, in taking African-American and gay voters for granted. The party sometimes acts like those voters have a natural home in the party, that they vote on only one issue (race or sexuality), and that they will stay. Those voters are more savvy than that, and while one issue may have more importance than others, it will not be the only issue upon which they decide.

Obama supporters, we cannot be single-issue voters, either. We cannot act surprised that our candidate does not embody perfection on every issue. He does not deserve our blind loyalty, but maybe sometimes we have to cut him some slack, too. He is out there working hard to broaden this coalition, so that our victory in November can be subject to no doubt. When he makes these moves, to the extent we are able, we have to stand by him. Surely we can pressure him to adopt our position. But if not, and when it is not an absolute deal-breaker, we have to keep the faith.

Remember what is at stake here. The future of Roe v. Wade depends on this election. The future of our loved ones in the armed forces depends on this election. The future of our environment depends on this election. The future of our security against economic threats and energy crises depends on this election. Keep your eye on the ball.